About Love: It Never Hurts
“The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread.”
– Mother Teresa
Everybody loves, everybody needs love; there’s no doubt that everybody is after it. It comes in different forms: romantic, platonic, interpersonal and even impersonal. Romantic love is the most sought after(?).
I just recently had a tinie-winie debate over love. It all started when I quoted “Love never hurts.”
Some argued that no pain no gain. As I would interpret, love is true only when you get hurt? Which in turn I came up with this example: Your mum love you because she hurt during labour, that’s how you gain love from her. This sounds super ridiculous, dude!! Let’s take another example from romantic love instead, since this is the topic I’m digging in. Let’s take lovers Romeo Montague and Juliet Capulet, two of the most famed clans in literature; they died because they love each other. Duh!! So not true!! Romeo and Juliet died IN THE NAME OF LOVE, their family’s disapproval of their love eventually leads to their demise.
Now, take a closer look, why you are jumbling up love with other qualities. While love is not quite an easy topic to master, scientists have helped us understand love, well, in scientific term, of course.
Helen Fisher of Rutgers University in the States has proposed 3 stages of love – lust, attraction and attachment. Each stage might be driven by different hormones and chemicals.
Stage 1: Lust
This is the first stage of love and is driven by the sex hormones testosterone and oestrogen – in both men and women.
Stage 2: Attraction
This is the amazing time when you are truly love-struck and can think of little else. Scientists think that three main neurotransmitters are involved in this stage; adrenaline, dopamine and serotonin.
Stage 3: Attachment
Attachment is the bond that keeps couples together long enough for them to have and raise children. Scientists think there might be two major hormones involved in this feeling of attachment; oxytocin and vasopressin.
If you are interested in how these hormones work in our body, further description is available here. *There are tips on how to fall in love, too! And it only takes 34 minutes. ^_~
Click here to get few steps closer to love!
Love itself, is, defined as an intense, universal and immensely intriguing emotion that knows no barriers of time, geography, race, sex and culture. In my context, love is only love. Sorrow and happiness are just qualities accompany love. It is not love. Don’t say it hurts you, ‘cause love really does not hurt, it never hurts.