l u n a b y s s

You Don’t See Me Cry

Do you remember the time when you cry a lot? You cry when you felt down, you cry when you were scolded, you cry when your ice cream melted.. Well, you get what I mean. Those days where you just don’t care and cry out loud.

I do.

When I was younger, I cry before my father beat me. When I was seven, I cry because I tripped. When I was sixteen, I cry (and scream) when the nurse is stitching me.

Now, I only cry for movies. For I have forgotten how to cry for real life, real reason.

The furthest I’ve gone is a choke down my throat. Something pushing up yet there’s a greater force pulling down. As for my tear ducts. I think they are phobes during such times, did not intend to embarrass me for I (d0) think crying is such a humiliating act.

Reason #2 I can not cry is that I am used to be armed. Because I am strong (or rather sometimes, pretending to be strong).

Reason #3 I do not cry is that no one really cares. No one would ask you why. When I cry for the trip, mum will come and comfort me. When I cry for the stitch, mum will come and take care of the nurse, I mean, care for me.

When you grew older, you are bound by norm, pride and the shield you build. You refuse to cry. I refuse to cry (subconsciously). Tears are no more weapon, tears are no more tool to get attention, ’cause people don’t give a f*cking damn about it. Not anymore..

But honestly, I cry. You just don’t see me cry.

p/s: i t h u r t s . i t r e a l l y d o e s .

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One thought on “You Don’t See Me Cry

  1. Everybody cry,sometimes.. and yeah,it is true,that when we faced a lot of thing in our path,we built a self-defense mechanism that protect our heart from being to vulnerable~

    “Now, I only cry for movies. For I have forgotten how to cry for real life, real reason.” – when there’s too much of dreaming,less real-life stories,yeah we tend to be that way.. maybe the time is not yet for you to fell it or it just that you’re closing up yourself from the world around you too much..

    hey,if this make you feel better, I give a damn about it..

    (sorry i read your blog and commented it without asking you 1st..hope i don’t offend you..btw,i shared the link to my blog,as i read yours,maybe u can read mine so that it is fair.. sorry~ )

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