before going into the subject, here’s my 2nd piece of watercolor painting. the 1st one was like, last year? i’m more satisfied with this one. i didn’t have to copy this time! &:’) that’s err… a “break through”!!
read a blog of a friend of mine, troubled. there seems like a quest, a never ending quest in the pursue of happiness. it could be at your finger tips, and it could be at the end of the world, either. hell, he’s d*mn right! things always go wrong when we lost that string which moor us to that ONE THING. getting attached = getting addicted. the same theory applied. it can make your life wonderful and it can turn your heaven into hell, too.
Loneliness can be palpable at times. all because we choose to think so. it haunts us, takes over our mind, and brings tears to our eyes. saddening, at the middle of the night, you woke up to be alone. there’s no one to hold. worse, when you need a shoulder to lean on, arms to settle in.
i’d been longing for this. strange, when the chance has finally arrived, i doubt. i doubt if this is what i really want, or, it’s just that i’m desperate. no, i’m not desperate. i feel strange, i mean the whole scene is weird. it’s nothing like what i’ve imagine. i am some how thrilled at the particular moment when the “we try” stuff occurred, but second thought, it doesn’t feels right. can’t really explain. well, matter of fact, if i can explain it, it wouldn’t be troubling me now, aik?
chances are, i am not ready to settle down, not ready for commitment, not ready to share my life, not ready to take the responsibility… now, i seems to be able to pull out the string here and there.